True Happiness

(Picture by fictionalfearless on sketchfu)
People rely their Happiness on Securities of what I like to call the 'Second' group of basic human needs aside from Food, water and shelter.
You rely on the...

Security of Money. How much you make, How much you have, How much you would earn and How much you could do to save more or How much stuff you could buy with all the money

Security of Company.
How much friends you have, How many people would want to spend time with you, How many people would want to share their secrets with you. How many people like or love you. How many people like the way you look, How many wants to imitate your style. How much a special someone could love you and How many others are waiting for you to like them back.

Security of Intelligence
How much you know about the world, and philosophies and realizations. How much grade you get at school, How many people think so highly of you because youre smart. How many times you get the compliment that youre brilliant or good at something. How many times you get an award for doing something you're good at. How many times teachers compliment your work in front of the class to show off your real skills in a certain subject. How many questions in exams could you answer right or how much you impress old and veteran people and How many times have you succeed.


Should we not admit that these things are basically our full time target of what our happiness would be like?

Do we not study and work hard for us to get high grades and awards?
Do we not dress nicely and wear make up for people to notice and like us?
Do we not work hard on our jobs to earn more money than we already do?

But honestly, the wealthiest, the smartest and the most beautiful person in the world can never be fully happy, unless they discover the truth about God.
If you rely on your own money for relief from every single kind of pain that you experience, it would not ease until you discover God's healing hand.

If you rely on your own self for confidence and courage to face trials, you would not truly succeed without God's guidance and support.

If you rely on your own knowledge and philosophies about everything in the world due to scientific facts and conclusions and psychological aspects, you would never truly understand anything about life without God's word and lessons.

If you base your happiness on these basics of an ideal life on earth which are all going to die with you, you would never truly experience what its like to live and be filled with true happiness.

For what I have learned in my young age is that the material things fill out only our desires and hunger.

I tried focusing on money, but its a never ending struggle to spend, save, spend and save and all over again.
Material things that you could buy will run out, money will run out too.

I tried focusing on my social life. My friends, my confidants. The people i trust and love. The best kind of people i know. But friends come and go. Mostly fade through the years. Seldom is the time when two people are consistent with their relationship with each other as years go by. Before you know it, you are out on your own, looking for new friends once again.Most of the time, it's almost impossible to find real ones again.

I tried it on studies. I focused so much on knowledge. Specifically scientific facts, on how the world works through basic logic and conclusions of Science. But the knowledge you'd know would feel so empty and incomplete in your mind. It would not be enough to satisfy your curiousity of the world.

But truly, It is God who would provide the best treasures, greater than gold.

It is God who would teach us the most important life lessons we could ever know.

It is God who would be our best friend and Father who would never leave us, no matter how much we turn away or how much we defy him.

You could have everything, Wealth, Beauty, Company, Brains...but you have NOTHING until you have God.
Yes, It is always God who fills out empty holes in our human hearts.

Autograph Books "Time is Gold"

(Picture by yours truly on sketchfu.)
When I was younger, there was a period of time when Autograph books were a hit.
It was a must-have for every 8-10 years old girls. Maybe even some boys.
There includes all the basic information of a person.
The "Autograph" book or the "Slam" book would be like a small notebook with a cover of either Hello Kitty, Tweety or Mickey mouse.
Some notebooks actually have the anime characters cover, which i never had.
In the book there are forms to fill out. Each person who fill that out would have 2 pages on the book.
I still remember the days when we would say to our girl friends, "Hey could you fill out my autograph? I'll fill out yours"
It would seem like our very old version of Facebook at those early times when Internet socializing was not yet made.

First page consists of:
Name, Age, Address, Gender, Favorite Color, Movie, Television show, songs, singer, food, bestfriend, etc.
The information to fill out usually depends on what kind of notebook you have. If you have the simple one,
those are always included on the first page.

The Second page is always, i think, everyone's favorite part of the autograph section.
That page includes these kind of questions:

Define love:
Define crush:
Who's your crush?
Who's your first love?
Who's your enemy?
What are your likes?
What are your dislikes?
What's your motto?

These are the intrigue questions little girls are dying to know because we find it fun to talk about.
Mostly when you borrow a friend's autograph book, you would read the second page of the section first.
Girls, I think it's something that all of us kept to ourselves. The way we want to be asked who our crush is or who's
the boy in class that we think we're inlove with; it just brings out the funny excitement in our pre-puberty minds.

Mostly girls write, "Secret" with a smiley face or maybe just the first letter of the boy's name and then she draws a <3 heart shape around it.
I admit that i once wrote "secret" too. or even the first letter basis.

For the meaning of "crush", I usually wrote, "Crush your head on the wall" or something like that.
Which was supposed to be funny back in those days.

When it comes to the definition of "Love", every girl was excited to write her own cheesy definition.
It's like we have this fresh ideas about love due to the daily information that Fairytales tell us.
I still remember the old cliches:

Love heals and forgives.
Love is Blind.
Love is caring for a person.
Love is poison. Too much will kill you.
Love is being with someone you love.
Love is God
Love is a box of chocolates that you want.
Love is Friendship

Now thinking about it, these definitions of love are actually true.
These are actually the root of where the other definitions of love are coming from. No matter how
simple the words are and how childish and silly they may sound, they are the very phrases that are so full
of the real meaning of what love really is. For Instance, Love is God. Because through the Bible, you
would learn the love of God for you and the Bible has the best definition of Love I've ever seen.
I read this verse in the Bible. It's really beautiful and It's becoming a real famous quote, which is used in many books and
movies, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.


For the very last question on the 2nd page,
"What's your motto?"
The most popular and most common answer is "Time is Gold."
You see, when little kids can't think of anything to write, they just copy off someone else's questions.
Usually Time is Gold is the answer of the older kids back then. Like if you're in 2nd grade, 5th graders would have the
answer "Time is Gold" so you're entitled to do the same with your page.
Children's tendency is to always always always imitate older people.

So "Time is Gold" would seem like a comedic phrase when you grow up to be a teenager.
I always smile or laugh when someone says that cliche overrated quote.
But no matter how overrated it may sound. No matter how childish it may seem, if you analyze that very quote,
its as True as the sky is blue.
I mean, look at yourself. Once you were this little kid playing Chinese garter, Jack's stones or drawing coloring books,
now you're a highschool student like me, nearly graduating from High School or in college.
You were once this timid child in the class who's afraid to speak up. Now you can deliver a speech in front of a crowd.
Once you we're this little girl playing with Barbie dolls and Miniature tea set, now you're going out on dates and parties.

It's as if your childhood days were just a dream. It was like it was just a movie that you once watched.
That's how i feel right now. I can't imagine myself as that little girl playing tag with my friends, screaming and running
and not caring if people were staring at me.
I can't imagine myself sliding down a slope of small land and climbing up to the top to slide once again. Yes, I used to do that after
school. I'd soil my my shoes, legs, hands even my face. My mom would get mad at me for my dirty white socks when i get home.

Back in 2nd grade,
I used to pick flowers in the school garden and plant them up again in a wooden box of soil and say proudly that it's my very own
garden.
My friends and i used to get all the japanese crepe paper, cut them into long thin strips and soak them up in a cup of water in the
girl's bathroom. We would look at our small hands stained with pink or purple dye and then laugh together.

Why we did that, i could never understand.

My point is, Time is a mysterious and amazing thing. Looking back at your childhood life, dont't you wonder how you got to be this old? It's like you didn't even notice. You don't even remember growing older do you?
I mean, its not like were in the grandparents age. But Time really made a difference. It's an amazing thing, isn't it?

What I'm stressing is that, Time is Gold. It's important. It's precious. and once you lose it, you can never bring back time. It goes on
forever and ever. It is irreversible. I know a quote that says, "Learn to appreciate what you have before time forces you to appreciate what you lost."
It applies on every loss that each people encounter everyday. It could be the loss of a precious object that has a sentimental value or
it could be a loss of a precious friend or a lover. Whatever it may be, the things that we lose bring heartaches because we
dearly value them but somehow we failed to show our appreciation. Sometimes we forget to really care for them; we even do the opposite of that.

Indeed, I believe that Time is gold. It is really as valuable as gold.
You see, *Time can heal. It could heal a broken heart or a wretched feeling. Through that healing, we are able to forgive.

*Time is also fast. It's like a when you ride a speeding car, you would only see a glimpse of places and faces along the way.
It does not stop or slow down. It just continues to go on.
It is "Easy come easy go." I still remember old times that i've had with people i met in the past
and it would seem like it was just yesterday that i was with those people. Now i'm on a different track and so are they.
At the beginning of a school year, you would think that it would be a whole new long year. It would seem that
each day would drag and you can't wait for summer. But really, one year is nothing. It'snothing. Before you know it, summer is here and
another school year would start. Time is mysteriously sneaky.
Also *Time would seem pointless to some people. How time really works is the old controversy of many people and their different opinions.

Do you not notice that we are never satisfied of what we have at a certain time?
Students love the summer! At school, all they could think of is summer. When summer comes, they can't wait to go back
to school to see their friends again.
That repeats all over again until the student graduates.

It's like a never ending journey of life to a certain destination that we do not know. People set goals and ambitions for themselves,
and when they reach it, the journey does not stop. Everytime we thought we are comfortable at some place, time would change again,
forcing us to change with it. Time's change is constant.

And so what I'm really trying to say is 'Time is Gold'.
Along with its preciousness, every loss has pain and regrets.
Every bad experience has a lesson learned and a scar marked
and every good times has a memory that could make you smile and cry at the same time.


As for me?
I'd pay big money just to go back in time and cherish what i had because i would lose them.
I would have smiled and laughed more often because there would be worst reasons to frown about.
I wish i should have known how important something is so i would have taken better care of it.
I wish I'd sense when someone is offended and hurt so that i would not inflict bad memories on that person.
I wish i had known when someone needed my help so that i could lessen their pain.
I wish i realized how important it is to forgive a person at once because when you hold grudges, you inflict more pain on yourself
than on other people.
I wish i'd known that there are moments that only passes once in a lifetime, and making the most out of it is the best you can do.
I really wish i would have realized these things sooner.
The things that I keep on reading and rewriting in autograph books were actually the most important life lessons there is. I wish I would have known that earlier.

Now i truly understand why almost everyone believed in it.
Time made me realize all these through simple things like Autograph "slam" books of the 9-year old girl i once was.

Disney Princesses lessons

(I made this picture on Sketchfu.)

I'm a big fan of Walt Disney. Everything about their whole themes and ideas create a magical world for the hearts of little girls.

Little girls have their own lessons in storybooks, you see.

Cinderella taught us that dreams do come true and that there are boys out there who are willing to search and chase after us every time we leave or run away from them.

Snow White told us to wait for our Prince who would wake us up with a first kiss and then take us to a castle on their white horses.

Belle proves that it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts. and inside every boy's physical feature, there's a loving and handsome prince with a heart of gold who's willing to give his life for you.

Megara says that no matter how one guy can treat you like trash and leave you for another girl even after you've given everything for him, there would always be another one who would come and heal your broken heart and take away your loneliness. The one who would give up his own destiny and world just to be with you.

When a girl reaches puberty, there would be tests and conclusions to this life lessons we've been believing since we were eight.
Most of the experiences tell us that men or "princes" like that do not exist; the one's that we've been reading about years ago.

Life lessons become complicated and harder to believe as we grow older.
Few girls get their fairytales right, but mostly they don't.
So sometimes it's better to close the fairytale books and face the reality.
BUT maybe, just maybe, if you believe in the magic of your very own "Once upon a time" story, you can have your own Happy Ending.

After all,nothing compares to the magical phrase, "...and they lived happily ever after."

I became a Soldier for a day...

I became a female soldier for a day when we had our field trip last February 19 to Villamore Airbase and Camp Kapinpin.
Start of the day, two very fierce and snappy soldiers greeted us in our assembly. The Striker(guy) and The Major (girl). They scared us a bit because they were shouting at us, telling us to follow orders and pressuring us to always move quickly. The sound of their whistles seemed like warning signs of punishment everytime they give orders. Were suppose to answer every order and question with "Sir, Yes Sir!" or "Ma'am Yes Ma'am!" loud enough to wake the dead.
We quickly loaded the bus. It was weird where there was an open space for something-something by the front of the bus just before the frontseats.
Some of the students (including me) tripped walking along the aisle because of the elevated platform under the carpet.

The huge wheels of the bus went rolling just as a videocamera gets ready for a movie shoot. The show started with an honest prayer of guidance and fun throughout the day. The open space by the frontseats were used as a stage for a show.

The two soldiers suddenly began to act goofy and funny especially the Striker guy. They actually gave me the impression of soldiers joking around the Airbase while shooting heavy guns and armor.
They retold the story of the our early history where pioneer soldiers of our country fought for freedom. They talked about heroes who risked their lives just for the people of our country.

Through out the trip to the Airbase and Camp, the soldiers entertained us and made us laugh like they comedians/soldiers right there.
When we reached the Airbase, we were guided by the 2 soldiers to a tour of the planes and uniforms and other stuff that were used during the previous war.
A lot of picture taking was done.

We were on the zigzag part of the road when our bus went off and broke down. We were stranded there for almost an hour and getting help seemed impossible because there was a bad reception; no signal connection; no phone calls or SOS messages could be sent. We enjoyed the view of the road and the cold wind through the windows. After what seemed like forever, a bus arrived and we all reloaded our stuff there and pushed on with the journey.
When we arrived the other sections were already there 30 minutes ago so we had our own share of dramatic entrance.
Complete with the "Our bus broke down and were shit out of luck" written all over our faces. The Knot tying acitivy followed. This one was cool but it seemed like reviving the old years in my former school where there's a subject for knot tying and camping. Most of the knots were already taught to us so it was kind of easy for me. (luckily)

The next activity was the Rope Course. Again, I've done this a lot of time since fourth grade so it was really superb instead of scary.
Lots of exciting activities followed, Other soldiers demonstrated how to make a fire without the help of a match box or a lighter but with only a bamboo and knife.
We were also taught how to cook food (bananas and rice) in a bamboo using banana leaves. The Jungle Survival Course challenged me. It was hard for me to cross over a tall wall, jump over a dirty mud puddle 4 ft from the ground and to crawl on my back on pool of mud.
I'd say the 'perfect t-shirt' that i was wearing turned from talcum powder white into milk chocolate brown. It was sort of repulsive and we know that no one thought girls would have the 'lip gloss' and 'hairstyle' to crawl on a mud pool but we proved them wrong.It was the highlight of the field trip. Though it was only mud, it tested our courage and guts. But i learned that mud is not really disgusting. It's actually quite cool and fun to be covered with mud. It's good for the skin, really.:))

Dressing up was a hassle but i felt happier when Striker and Major told us that we would not do push ups or any disciplinary exercises because we were the most disciplined, obedient and well-behaved class during the field trip. When we gave ourselves a round of applause, it was when i felt much better. The applause were our victory song for a triumphant and successful field trip. Unlike the other sections, we weren't punished. We were applauded. (yea!)
Even though our bus broke down and some of our classmates weren't able to come and our adviser wasn't there, it seemed like we really got the taste of what it takes to be a Soldier. To be brave during tough times and to find ways to reward ourselves with simple pleasures when we know we deserve it. It takes a lot of bravery and confidence to face the challenges that day. Even though it was just a field trip, it's one of the most memorable days of my sophomore year.

I learned that most of the time soliders are misjudged and misunderstood. People judge them by the way they talk/shout and the way they act, most especially by their armors and weapons and their capability to kill people.
Striker and Major taught us that being a hero takes more than just losing your life for other people. It is the willingness and bravery of someone to think of others before himself that make someone a hero. Not all heroes are supposed to be dead; many are living. You may find a hero in yourself, if you'd be brave and diligent enough to search for it. And also, Its most important to understand that Soldiers do not carry guns to kill. They carry guns to protect. They are not murderers. They are saviours.

ONE IMPORTANT THING. We found out that Striker and Major and others who accompanied every class during the day were not really strikers and majors. They werent really soldiers.They were actors and actresses. So I felt fooled and tricked at the end, but without them portraying the REAL life of soldiers, we would not have understood the real meaning of it.
It was funny knowing that they were only acting and pretending the whole time, but that's what made the trip so special and memorable.


Indeed, "Sir, Yes Sir!"

I dare you to eat this!

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/tonobalaguer/tonobalaguer0909/tonobalaguer090900235/5594459.jpg

We were eating in this fancy restaurant and my sister challenged me into something that I promised myself, I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN.

We have just finished dessert and were waiting for the bill. My sister pondered around the almost empty plates with a metal fork. She speared a little red chili pepper and twirled it around. I watched her with an indifferent face, having nothing else to say.
She instinctively waved the fork to my face and told me, “I dare you to eat this.”

With my right brow raised, I grabbed the fork from her and looked at it closely.
“Go on, take a bite.” she repeated. I smiled at her remark. I’ve always loved challenges and a good dare excites me all the time. I thought about Reese Witherspoon’s movie ‘Vanity Fair’ and how she ate the same red chili pepper in one part of the movie. Of course I knew that they didn’t make the actress eat a REAL red chili but I wondered myself, what would it taste like?

It’s as if my mom heard my thoughts and she told me not to eat it.
“It’s a burning sensation.” she told us but my sister and I ignored her remark.
It was stupid and reckless for my part and perfectly funny for my sister, because you would think that I’m a fool to take up a dare like that even without a price.
“Are you nuts? You’re going to eat that? Do you want your tongue burned?!” My inner self hissed at me.
“This is once in a lifetime. Take a chance. Go on. Taste it.” my instincts told me and I didn’t need another minute. So I took an innocent bite then I stayed apathetic for a few seconds but after that, I was spitting and choking with a face that I dare not to describe.

Then for the next twenty minutes or so, I was literally whining and cursing the red chili pepper and my sister who was laughing at me. I did everything; I ate spoonfuls of ice cream which helped a lot but only for a few seconds.
The burning sensation was really tormenting. I looked at my tongue closely at the mirror and saw that it was actually damaged.
I saw something that looked like a burned layer of the tongue or something and it really hurt a lot. I put ice cubes in my mouth and it was a big relief from time to time, but the pain just kept on coming back.

It was a silly yet horrible experience.

Now that I know how red chili peppers taste like, I wouldn’t let another one of those little red veggies near my tongue again. Never.
And also, I’ve learned to listen to my mother and gain some common sense.
Though I knew it all along that it has a burning sensation, I didn’t listen to my sensible self.
Sometimes it’s really absurd to follow your instincts. I learned that the hard way. 

When orange fuses with blue...

This one is a double quatrain poem we were asked to make in English class.

The orange sky fuses with blue
Seagulls fly all over the view
Someone is sitting just under a tree
Gazing at the sun as it outlines the sea

The heavens looked weak and so full of bliss
She blinked when the cold wind blew her a kiss
The red light tinted her shining eyes and hair
But deep down inside she felt a sinking despair



-I did some comparisons between Sunset and a hard-to-explain kind of feeling.
:D
Regards to Panyarak Roque and Vivien Beduya!

Confessions of a Bookworm!

Today, when young people are asked about their hobbies, the usual answers are as follows. Playing computer games, watching movies, hanging out with friends and all sort of ‘cool’ stuff we love. Just as strange and common as it may sound, we like all of these activities because we feel like we are in a different place whenever we do it.

When you play Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection in your computer or PSP, you feel as if you’re Lili, Asuka or Sergei Dragunov or whoever character you are playing. You even shout and make funny faces of victory or defeat when you kick your opponent or vice versa. The same way when you’re watching Twilight, it’s as if Edward Cullen is saying those romantic words to you and you’re melting in the cinema seat. It’s as if you’re battling another ravenous vampire who instinctively wants to hurt your vulnerable girlfriend and you stuff handfuls of popcorn in your mouth after another.
I personally have to say that I also enjoy those activities, but making them my passion and hobby is another thing. My main and personal hobby is reading. So your reactions might sound like “whaaaat…?” or “Huh.” or even “Ew.” but I tell you that if I can think of anything that I’d love to do better than reading books, then I won’t even know myself.

I’m telling you this, not because I want you to know who I am. I tell you this because I want to share with you the power of literature and how it can make a great impact in your life. I still remember the first book I ever read. It was a small pocket book of Snow white and the seven dwarfs, not the Disney version though. I read that the Queen disguised as three different characters. The first time, the queen was a woman, selling colorful ribbons and sashes. Snow White let her tie a pink velvet ribbon around her neck to see how it would look. Then the queen in disguise pulled the ribbon too tight, Snow white was suffocated and fell to the ground. When the dwarfs found her on the floor, they untied the ribbon so she could breathe and by the morning, she was well again... (I know. It’s impossible but it’s a fairytale anyway!) The queen disguised herself once more as a kind old lady selling combs. When Snow white “…ran the comb to her long black ebony hair, she nearly died…” for the comb was poisonous.

Then, as the traditional version, the queen’s next disguise was the poor old woman, selling apples. So then, Snow white took a bite. The dwarfs found her lifeless a little later that evening. I’m sure seldom of you heard of that version of the fairytale but I’d like to share to you how I felt while reading that book as a child. I felt as if I was being deprived from oxygen as the queen tied the ribbon around Snow white’s waist.

But of course, I did not pass out! I felt really uneasy when she combed her hair with the poisonous brush. I imagined it was really acidic and it burned right on her scalp and some of her hair came out of their roots, though the book didn’t say anything like that. The weird part for me was when the Prince came for Snow White’s grave, and when his servants were carrying the coffin, the morsel of apple fell out from Snow white’s mouth and she was alive in an instant.
I think some of you might refer to the story as dumb, stupid and absurd. As for me, these stories do not teach little children idiotic facts and incidents that they would believe that dead people can live again, once a piece of apple falls out from their mouth. And also, I am not telling you to go and buy a book of Snow white and the seven dwarfs. Oh, no. I just want to say that I believe these stories teach us how to work with our imaginations and test how far we could analyze the story by using our own thoughts and perceptions. Challenging your mind’s eye instead of callusing your fingers with computer buttons and controllers is so much better and more worthwhile, I really believe that.

I’ve read too many books, I lost count already. But I know I’d never get tired of reading those legendary stories that would mark in my mind all my life. I do not use this hobby as something to brag about. I use this as my strength and comfort zone when I need to get away from the loud growl of uncertainties in my life as a teenager. When I enter this incredible fantasy world, I feel like nothing could go wrong. But living in a fantasy world is never sensible. Using the pleasure I get from reading is enough for me to face the realities of my life and consider them as my strength and confidant.


I think most people would prefer spending their money on overpriced movie tickets or hours of unlimited computer slots. But if you could just try to use the money for something extraordinary, then go to the nearest bookstore and buy a novel or if you’re thrifty, spend your time in the school library.
You might just find another way to spend your weekends by then.
Read Hearty!